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I hate everyone

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when u sneeze in front of your pet and they look like you’ve just offended their great ancestors


(Source: deaneggsandsam, via walrusorgy)

How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you

(Source: surf4ces, via walrusorgy)


will do anything for foood

(Source: poyzn, via walrusorgy)


please love me as much as you love pizza.

(via whileemiliesleeps)


hey are you a bank because you need to leave me a loan

(via all-the-songs-you-hate)

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